“We criticize people for not giving us what we ourselves are afraid to ask for.”
 – Marshall Rosenberg, PhD

In this crazy upside-down world, overwhelm seems to be the norm for most of the workforce, and it becomes very easy to get stuck in a complaint about what is going on around us.

Why it matters?
It is important to recognize that complaining is a pattern that undermines teams. It keeps you focused on the past and not building or exploring possibilities for the future.

Leadership Insights
Managers and leaders can become empowered by interrupting and redirecting complaints into powerful, actionable requests. If you want to achieve awesome results, leaders need to start looking for the hidden requests behind these complaints.

Leadership Strategy
Redirect the complaint by…

1. Listening and sympathizing but do not get sucked into the complaint.
2. Ask some follow-up questions to get into action and out of a “victim” mindset like:

• Do you have any thoughts on how we correct this?
• What would you suggest we do next?
• What support do you need to address this?

Awesome Read
How to Complain While Still Being Professional offers some action steps that can support you in taking the lead and getting out of the complaint conversation and moving forward to results.

Have an awesome month leaders!

Feeling overwhelmed is hardly unique to executives; yet leaders often deny, ignore, or push away the feelings. They accept it as part of their role or assume that they “should” be able to power through it.

Why it matters?

As a leader, you are the go-to person for others when the going gets tough. But what happens when the going gets tough for you, and it starts to affect how you lead?

Leadership Insights

BE MORE – Do Less!

Be more, self-aware as to the various ways, how overwhelm can manifest itself in your life like below examples:

• Emotional volatility
• Inability to concentrate or listen
• Difficulty making decisions
• Feeling pervasive dread
• Constantly irritated or annoyed
• Numbness or withdrawal (from people or activities)
• Physical aches and pains — headaches, back pain, digestive issues, fatigue and more

Challenge: Over the next couple of weeks, work on identifying Overwhelm in yourself. If you can “see it” then you can “take action”.

The link below offers some action steps that can support you in getting over overwhelm.

Awesome Resources:

• Great Leaders are Dedicated to “Practices of Greatness”
• Overwhelmed?

Have an Awesome Month Leaders!

It’s a popular tradition to set New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the year. Since 2020 was a year unlike any other, do resolutions even deserve a place on your to-do list?

It is time to finally ditch resolutions for something more useful like making a “Declaration for Your Future!”

Why it matters?
Declarations are about taking a stand for the future you want to create. Resolutions focus on an action we want or need to take and thus fail most of the time.

Making a Declaration

1. Take some time to determine what is important to you and what future you want to make possible. This will summarize what matters most to you. This may take several attempts but keep at it.
2. Write them down so you can easily view them or even hang them in your office.
3. Share your declaration for your future with the most important people in your life.
4. Now commit to and live-in accordance to your Declaration and enjoy the impact and rewards of leading a life you deserve.

Examples of Declaration vs. Resolution:
Declaration – I will be a present, powerful leader for my Team.
Resolution – Have more quality Team Meetings in 2021.

Awesome Resources

• 6 Secrets That Will Help You Make Changes for the New Year That Actually Stick
• Your Future is a Declaration Away

At Awesome Journey, we are passionate about learning to be great leaders both personally and professionally. One way we challenge ourselves to learn about leadership is by exposing ourselves to others who are passionate about leadership. Check out our 2021 Leadership Reading List recommendations hyperlinked for easy purchasing.

We would like to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season and a New Year filled with happiness, prosperity, good health, and transformation!

Thank You,

The Awesome Journey Team

Presence is “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.”

Most leaders have a general understanding of what being present means, but few can translate that understanding into reality. Every moment through the day offers the opportunity to ask what I am present to?

Inquiry holds the potential to disrupt the fast-paced automatic distractions in life, to bring you to the root of what matters. When you are present, you might notice your past, present and future revealed at once, leaving you at choice to commit to what you care about.

To be present is to live in the moment, the here and now, not in the past assertions or future declarations. It is about being alert and aware of your emotional state and its impact on how you see the world and how others see you. Presence fosters intention.

While in a “presence state” you are likely to ask yourself questions like: for the sake of what am I doing this? how does the situation at hand connect with my purpose? and how do I need to act to fulfill a deeper sense of destiny?

A leader’s presence impacts a room negatively, positively, or not at all, and can be influenced between 3 ways of displayed presence:

1. Powerful Presence

A powerful leader is self-aware of who they are being with others. They are being:

1. • Collaborative – “we” vs. “I” language.
   • A deep listener from a place of support and empowerment (which has others asking questions that put them into action).
   • A generative communicator.
   • Calm under pressure.
   • Supportive of other ideas, opinions, and beliefs – which makes others feel safe in their presence.
   • Accountable for their promises and agreements with others.
   • A learner.
   • Vulnerable – willing to say, “I don’t know” and “I need your support in finding a quality solution to this issue”.
   • Trustworthy.
   • Open to feedback.
   • Responsible for their choices and decisions.
   • Strong communicators/listeners by using direct eye contact.
   • In tune with their surroundings.
   • Relationship focused as well as transaction-focused – long term thinking.

You can measure when you are being a leader with a powerful presence by your impact on others. Your impact creates sustainable action with others. People leave a conversation with you, engaged, inspired, and motivated to execute on their promises made to you. People who work with you are confident at providing feedback and information that is real to support the success of the organization.

2. Forceful Presence

A forceful leader is less self-aware of who they are in the room. They are being:

• • Accountable for their own performance and expect others to do the same.
  • A listener for others from a place of “fix, help and rescue” – which has them telling others what to do to be in action.
  • Exclusive with others which shows up as controlling of their environment, information, and decision-making power.
  • Aggressive when others challenge their decisions or ideas.
  • Less open with others when they are unsure or do not have an answer, they see vulnerability as a weakness, i.e.:” “You are paid to know and if you don’t know, go and figure it out quickly so that you can be reliable for others”.
  • Less collaborative in their communication abilities:
    1. They like to tell vs. ask others for their ideas and opinions.
    2. They speak in the first person, i.e.: “I did this, I accomplished this…”.
    3. Their feedback tends to be critical and unsafe, i.e.: “You should have known that…”.

You can measure when you are being a leader with a forceful presence by the impact you have on others. For example, you create unsustainable action with others, or people leave a conversation with you, confused, uncertain and worried about how to be in action to support the project and how they will be supported by you. Feedback is rarely given, and open-door policies are seldom used.  People who work with you learn to tell you what you want to hear vs. what you need to hear to support the success of the organization.

3. Powerless Presence

A powerless leader’s presence shows up as unwilling and inauthentic. In a conversation, they are unwilling to own their authentic voice, don’t share their ideas or make people feel like they don’t matter by saying phrases like, “sounds good, I’m sure you will make it happen, I have no comments on this topic…”.

This may leave others confused, uncertain, disempowered and lost as to how to be in action to support the issue or opportunity at hand. When a leader is not present with their team, others see you as a powerless leader because they are left in a space of uncertainty or inaction.

Practices to Support Developing A Powerful Presence:

A leader who chooses to be intentional about living a powerful presence has a set of practices that has them being self-aware of their presence (overall energy) which they bring to the moment. Here are some examples of practices:

• Healthy lifestyle – proper food choices and balanced sleeping patterns.
• A daily breathing, mindfulness, or meditation practice.
• Uses slow down techniques like “Power of the Pause”.
• Reflecting at the end of each day to support self-learning.
• Daily exercise.
• Journaling – putting their thoughts on paper to create new awareness and learning
• Learning in a community.
• Giving and receiving feedback to expand self-awareness.
• Self-care – quality sleep, time for self, time for play/fun/laughter, time for creativity and time for quality relaxation.

Want more? Check out our resource material for this:

1. Article on the Power of Presence – https://www.bhavanalearninggroup.com/in-the-power-of-presence/
2. Book entitled, “Leadership Presence” by Belle Linda Halpern & Kathy Lubar – https://www.amazon.ca/Leadership-Presence-Kathy-Lubar/dp/1592400868/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1602172801&sr=8-2
3. Article on the Power of the Pause – https://www.bhavanalearninggroup.com/3-conditions-cultivate-attention/
4. Article on Fixing, helping & rescuing – https://www.uc.edu/content/dam/uc/honors/docs/communityengagement/HelpingFixingServing.pdf

Have you ever said to yourself?

“Oh, if only there were more hours in a day, or another day in the week, then I could get it all done?”

Let’s be honest, even if there were more hours in the day, you probably still wouldn’t get it all done. We don’t really need more time; we need to make better use of the time we have. 

More than any other word, “overwhelmed” captures the state in which most of us find ourselves. There’s simply too much to do and not enough time to get everything done. ^*

The Oscar-winning movie, “Crash,” aptly details how we are all so involved in our everyday lives that we really never notice – let alone care about – anyone else … unless we crash into each other. We have no time to care or to even think about having time to care. ^*

We are on the verge of collapse but have not found the time for that either.

Let us start by looking at the relationship we have with time.

Do we own our time or does time own us? Another way to look at is to ask ourselves are we “busy” or “productive” with our time.

People tend to work harder at getting ahead to complete their workload, ultimately creating more interactions, more timelines, more meetings and more follow up, all resulting in overwhelm. This cycle is what we a “vicious circle” at Awesome Journey, as illustrated below.

There are a few steps that we can support our leaders with, to break this vicious circle.

A big one is learning what gets in the way of a leader saying no.

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” Warren Buffett

Challenge: For the next two (2) weeks journal each night on how your relationship to time was for that day.

1. Where did I automatically commit to tasks and experience overwhelm as a result? –
2. Where did I say no to avoid overwhelm?

Did time own you or did you own your time?

*Courtesy of – Tony Zampella of Bhavana Learning Group.